Sometimes life moves slow, everything meaningless, lacking purpose or reason whatsover. Constantly wondering if we have a purpose on this earth, or maybe living is the only purpose. Big dreams, but trying to catch them is like trying to grab a cloud, you can see its there but you can’t contain it. Its like being something is actually nothing, and everything is infact a bunch of tangible nothings.
Sometimes I sleep on the grass and stare at the blue sky, and for a moment I’m at peace because there’s nothing else but me. So is peace emptiness? Is peace loneliness? I look at a cloud, It seems to take the shape of my thoughts, what I think it replicates. Beauty is subjective. I close my eyes, Im gone…no no I’m still alive. The sun is directly over me now, I can feel its rays trying to penetrate through my touching eyelids. I slowly open my eyes and the light is filtered in by my lashes, Im blinded by the sun, all I see is white and stars, but wait its daylight. Where are the stars coming from? A silhoutte appears from a distance, with wings flapping in slow motion, could it be an angel? Why is it so small? And as it appears closer, time seems to freeze and it lands on the tip of my nose.
As I regain my vision I see this beautiful creature with wings that mirror each other, such perfect design. As it landed on my nose its wings are still in motion as if its about to take off but it doesn’t. Suddenly, Im delirious and not feeling empty at all, I have my fingers crossed and I’m hoping it will stay, but my insecurities are telling me it wont stay so I decide to catch it. As I lift my hand in an attempt to trap it in, with finesse – it manages to negotiate its way through my fingers and slip away. I see the world start to shift perspective as I slowly wake up from the ground, I have a purpose now – chasing that beautiful creature. I run, I jump and try everything but my efforts bear no result. As I’m about to give up, the butterfly – as if it was giving up – easily let its guard off and I manage to capture it in between the grasp of my hands, “I have you now and forever…” says the voice in my mind to this creature enclosed in my hands.
As I open my hands, the smile on my face faded into a frown, my eyes filled with rage, and my heart became hollow again… I had killed the one and only beautiful purpose I had found in my life, I had deprived it of its freedom because of my selfishness. I had stolen its life because of my cruelty. The poor creature lay there in my hands, lifeless… The color from its wings had rubbed on my hands, and at that very moment my left eye gave way to a tear that dropped so slowly until it hit the ground. I parted my palms, allowing the butterfly to fall down from between…as it hit the ground, I slowly turned away and looked up to the sky, the sun was gone, the clouds had turned grey and the rain started falling. The sky was sad and it had all right to cry…I fell on my knees, I couldn’t just leave, I had to attend its funeral…I had to…
Story Written By Bryce Maritinyu